TEENAGE IDOLS


1988

TEENAGE IDOLS, SOHO ROSES, BROOKLYN DOGS – Marquee, London

“IT’S ALL coming back to haunt us’ – I gasp to a certain fellow journalist also ‘associated’ with the original rag-bag-punky ‘Glam scene’. The mutated, bastardized ‘daughterz’ of Hanoi Rocks, the Babysitters et al, have come of age’

I entered the smoky venue and headed straight for the stage and the young tarty pups were halfway through their performance: the Brooklyn Dogs, hailin’ from, and I quote, “Burbigum”. A four-piece rag-bag-punky-glam etc, etc. et-goddamn-cetera band, givin’ it their best shot but maybe sufferin’ a mild attack of “Wow, we’re actually playin’ the Marquee” nerves. An’, guys, takin’ the ever dauntin’ chance of coverin’ a classic like Hanoi’s ‘Tragedy’ is always gonna putcha at risk of swampin’ the original toonz you should be toutin’.

If the ‘Dogs can get their onstage personas to match their ‘at the bar afterwards’ charisma, then these brat-Brummies just might obtain the dubious honour of membership to the ‘trash with flash league.

Next up. . . WHA-A-AT, dem again’? The buggers who singlehandedly keep Max Factor in business – Soho Roses, improvin’ in posey leaps and poutin’ bounds. This band worry me – what I used to consider average material lie ‘Coz Of You’. Sweet Sixteen’ etc.) are metamorphosisin’ into annoyingly memorable sub- classics. A touch sullen, but The Roses did the business. The only disappointment bein’ they didn’t get into a scrap with either the ‘Dogs or headliners the Last Of The Teenage Idols.

Ahh, the Teenage Idols. What did ex-Babysitter vocalist, Sergeant Major Buttz, have in store with his new recruits? I’d guess most expected an obvious cloning of his old partners in grime; not this synthesis of wild n’ wecicy humour, which is thankfully unique only to Buttz, with Metal Mat (guitar), Shuff (bass) and Dave Who-Can’t-Behave (drums), are a Metal band who lean towards punky rock ‘n’ roll, as opposed to the ‘Sitters’ punky ‘rock en roll’ that leaned toward Metal.

And there was Buttz, beamin’ with pride at his new baby. A red-hot (as we say) guitarist and a give-it-some-bollocks rhythm section introducin’ such curious gems as ‘There’s A Spider In My Head’, ‘Rebel Without A Quid’, ‘Ned The Crow And Resurrection Joe’ and the. . dare I say it… Zeppelinesque ‘Teenage Idol’?!’!! Needless to say, the waaaay over-crowded (I think someone lost count here!) Marquee lapped-up the chucklesome barrage.

Dumpy ‘Olivia’ Rusty Nut in gratuitous slinky black number, padded-bra (I think!) and fright make-up, joined the louts for ‘You’re The One That I Want’ with Buttz as Travolta. Sadly not as amusin’ as it sounds, the whole shambolic embarrassment cumin’ across as well-rehearsed as an episode of Crossroads!

Never the less, my darlin’ ones, Buttz pulled it off, leavin’ any doubters not so much with egg on their face – but the whole chicken farm!

RAY ZELL

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