KERRANG! ISSUE 29 – DEC 1982
BITCH ‘Domination Alley’ (Metal Blade Records MBR 002)
SEEKING A chance to bitch about Bitch, I thought that the first track on this five track EP was going to hand it to me on a plate. Neo-Motorhead thrashing with the fabled Betsy singing flat is not the way to impress and I was all ready to consign the band to the dumper, but fortunately the full story turned out to be rather more impressive.
Betsy herself is obviously the main asset of Bitch, to the point that the sleeve of this throbbing twelve incher consists of a large shot of her freckled cleavage, retouched and doubtless touched as well. There’s not much attempt to satiate female fans with a token adonis in the line up, indeed David Carruth, Mark Anthony Webb and Robby Settles couldn’t wet the knickers of an incontinent juvenile between them, but Betsy sure knows where she’s heading, as her lyrics to ’He’s Gone’ show; ‘He was kissing the nice all over the face/I told him ‘cut the crap and throw me all over the place/When I broke out my whips and chains/He hopped aboard the very next train Ill just have to go out and find me somebody else/Someone mean, someone crude/Someone who will beat me until I’m black and blue’, Forget the Pulitzer prize sweetie.
The Baron Hughes’ House Of Whips gets a credit on the sleeve-despite the fact that the alleged whipping on ‘Live For The Whip’ is nothing of the sort, ditto the various erotic groans’ credited on the lyric sheet (refer to Zappa’s ‘The Torture Never Stops’ on ‘Zoot Allures’ for real ones).
The title track is full and threatening, although Betsy’s voice lacks the snarling edge that it needs, ‘He’s Gone’ is midpaced and messy but the lyrics make jolly reading, and the closing ‘Live For The Whip’ only really fails because it omits to deliver what it promises, i.e. Betsy getting a good thrashing and loving every minute of It. Her vocals work particularly well thanks to being double tracked, and the song itself has a little more depth than yer average HM bash, so all is not bad news,
Bitch are not, and doubtless never will be a really great band in the classic sense of the word; however Motorhead weren’t and aren’t either and that doesn’t seem to have blunted their appeal (although I suspect severe failings in the longevity department these days), The record’s good whilst not great, but Betsy’s t*ts should make up for any shortcomings in the songwriting department for a while at least.
KERRANG! ISSUE 145 April 1987
BITCH: “The Bitch Is Back” (Metal Blade RR9627 import)
BITCH HAVE been away for two years and would ya believe it, I hadn’t even missed ‘em?!
‘The Bitch Is Back’ is leaden and thoughtless, lacking the colour and thought of Metallica or the full ‘from the heart’ cartoon capers of Anthrax. It offers nothing aside from a lot of perfunctory loud noises. My God; there’s so much flab surrounding the likes of ‘Me And The Boys’ and ’Storm Raging Up’ that Deep Purple might seriously believe they have a future in rock ‘n’ roll – it’s that bad!
By covering the Elton John – penned title track Bitch really highlight their own inadequacies. The tune stands head and shoulders above their own material and even their heavy-handed approach doesn’t kill the song. What lead vocalist Betsy’s – saxophonist Dad got mixed up in this for I can’t imagine!
In her defence, Betsy does have a strong delivery and could probably do quite nicely with a set of good tunes and-musicians who are on top of things. Good luck to ‘em if they really think this is where it’s at, but there’s got to be more than this to satisfy my urges!