Armed And Ready, February 1981

SPLIT BEAVER: this, ahem, distastefully titled band are based in Wolverhampton and have been on this plane of existence for some 18 months. Originally a five-piece group ‘underwent rationalisation’ and reduced their numbers to four. The members are as follows: Darrel ‘Savage’ Whitehouse (vocals), Mike ‘The Bike’ Hoppett (guitar), Alan ‘Honk’ Reese (bass) and Keith ‘The Mod’ Allen (drums).

JULY 1982

SPLIT BEAVER ‘When Hell Won’t Have You’ (Heavy Metal)

THE OPENlNG number on this little opus, ‘Savage’, is a straight rip-off venture into the worlds of early Tygers Of Pan Tang and AC/DC. I’m sure that the cranium could be crushed under the weight of the rifferama but what the hell is the point? It’s so banal!

OK, Split Beaver try a different tack with a little of the old ‘Quo’ blues riffing. Going Straight’ is more enjoyable but it still heads up a blind alley faster than Ted Nugent hunting out pussy. What’s more, the end result ain’t as pleasurable.

It’s hard to see any future for either Split Beaver or Heavy Metal Records on this pitiful display. Think that Paul Birch could’ve signed the mighty Last Flight? Criminal! As far as the album title is concerned, no wonder Hell won’t have them – I wouldn’t even bestow this on the devil!


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